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Last week’s topic discussing the correlation between gratitude in elevator pitches and success in networking groups struck a real chord with readers. This week’s topic is essentially the opposite of gratitude: resentment. And it can be a death sentence to not only leads, but it can cast a cloud over an entire networking group.

If you have been in a networking group for any length of time and done your share of one-on-ones, you may have heard grumblings from fellow members about certain members not passing them business. These grumblings were probably louder if your fellow member had passed leads to the member they are complaining about. If you are in a situation where somebody is bashing a fellow member, it’s your job to get them off the “whine without the cheese”.

That’s not saying they might not have a beef. Yet complaining about somebody not passing referrals never solved the problem. If anything, it creates an animosity that casts a cloud over your group and makes others uncomfortable-and that diminishes the effectiveness of the group.

So, what do you do? Politely suggest to your fellow member to take a good look in the mirror and ask themselves a few questions:

• Have I done a thorough one-on-one with this person (you’d be surprised how many people expect referrals without having sat down with said person)?
• Did I present myself in a way that makes me easy to refer? Sometimes preparing a list of businesses you’re looking to be referred to and a list of how you can help them makes it much easier to pass a referral.
• If it’s a scenario where you have passed your fellow networking group member a lead, did you take following steps:
  • Contact the lead to let them know somebody from your networking group would be reaching out to them?
  • Did you follow up with your fellow group member to see whether they connected with your referral and whether or not it was the right kind of referral?
  • Follow up with the referral.

If this exercise turns up nothing, suggest they set up another one-on-one (you can do as many of those as you need, there is no limit). This is an opportunity to be direct. An example of what to say might be:

“I was hoping we’d be good sources of leads and referrals for each other. Is there anything you can tell me about your business that might help me pass more referrals your way?”

Granted, this is not really addressing the problem. But once they answer that question, most people will reciprocate and ask how they can help you. That should lead to a discussion that will lead to an answer. Nine times out of 10, the reason one networking group member is not passing leads to another is about them and not the other member.

No matter what the reason for not passing leads, this exercise is really meant to stop the bad mouthing and resentment and get back to work on passing leads and referrals. That’s why when discussing people in your networking group with other members it’s best to follow the golden rule–if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

Grumbling about what you’re not getting from other group members typically makes you look as bad as the person you’re complaining about. And the last thing you want is that frustration giving other members of your group a reason to hesitate in passing referrals to you, too.

So, you do a one-on-one with somebody from your networking group and he/she gives you a lead. Now what?

That depends largely on the information provided. As a practice, you want to try and get a phone number and an e-mail address. In fact, e-mail is often an easier ice-breaker to introduce yourself and the connection to person providing the lead.

Once you have the lead’s contact info, the follow-up process should start before you end your one-on-one meeting:

• Confirm next steps – Will the person who gave you the lead reach out to that person? If so, by when. Offer to make the initial introduction to the lead via e-mail. Mention you met with John/Jane Doe from your networking group and they suggested we should connect. Be sure to cc John/Jane on the e-mail.
• Let it breathe – Don’t expect an immediate response, particularly if the lead hasn’t heard from Jane/John about you. Give it two business days before taking the next step.
• Call the lead – Again, reference John/Jane and how they thought it would be beneficial for the two of you to connect. Be sure to reference the e-mail you sent and that you are just following up. Hopefully, the discussion takes its course and you can set up a meeting.
• Follow up with your networking member – Let Jane/John know if you connected with their lead. If more than a week goes by and you haven’t been able to connect, let them know that as well.

When somebody gives you a lead, there’s a responsibility of follow-up that falls on both of you. Otherwise, it’s a cold lead, which is just one notch above a cold call–and that goes against the grain of why we join networking groups.

Know that when you give or get a lead, it’s going to require effort on both parties to make it a warm referral and be prepared to do the follow-up to make that happen.

You’ve heard it said that every business has a marketing plan. Even if you don’t have a marketing plan written down, that’s a marketing plan—though probably not as effective as a thought-out and plotted strategy. The same can be said for your networking. In other words, write out a networking plan.

The vast majority of people in networking groups—some who even have the audacity to write about it in an e-newsletter—don’t have a written-out networking plan. You may think, “do I really need one?” It’s a valid point, especially if you have had some success generating leads off your networking efforts. But it’s not a bad thought if you are looking to be more efficient in your efforts and tracking.

What could that plan look like? Probably, whatever you want it to look like. As stated above, what you are doing now is a networking plan. So, start there with something like:

Networking groups:
· My Pinnacle Network – meets first Tuesday of the month

Networking events (minimum of one per month; possible candidates):
• Attend Chamber of Commerce after hours
• South Shore Networking Group
• 508 and 774 networking group

Post-Networking (to be completed within 3 days after meeting or event):
• Add new contacts to address book
• Send follow-up note to new contacts
• Thank event host
• Set up one-on-one with current member or guests of networking group

This is just one scenario. It can be different for every networker. You may want to set up tasks in Outlook with reminders to help you stick to your plan. You may want to create some sort of spreadsheet to track these efforts. It really depends on your personal preferences.

The beauty of this exercise is the focus it brings to your networking. You may think of things you want to add to your networking efforts and haven’t—adding your networking group members to your e-mail list or connecting on LinkedIn. The power of writing down a networking plan takes it from just what you do to actionable steps.

If that sounds like a Jeopardy clue, it really could be. The question would be, “what gets people to open an e-newsletter?” As the art of e-newslettering has evolved, it’s placed a great importance on your subject line. It really must be like a headline for an ad or newspaper story. And while it’s not terribly creative, “thank you” generally gets the most opens. But “thank you” may have a challenger: Tom Hanks.

A recent meme we reposted on Facebook had an extraordinary response from our network and beyond. So much that we thought perhaps it could replace “thank you” as the most effective line. If you are reading this, you’re making this case.

When it comes to networking, the great Tom Hanks really can’t touch “thank you” for many reasons. First and foremost, Joe and the Volcano. But mostly because thank you is such a small gesture that means so much.

Yes, thank you is a show of gratitude and that’s also important. It’s also recognition of an effort made by somebody else. Regrettably, not as many people notice the things other people do. A thank you can go a long way towards deepening any relationship, but particularly a networking one.

Is there someone in your network that you should or could be thanking? Why not make that connection today? Sometimes those thank yous can turn into more—for no particular reason.

 

Networking isn’t rocket science. It’s common sense, common courtesy and bit of effort.

To get the most of any networking group, we suggest the following –

Show up early. Get there 15 minutes prior to start time. Show commitment and have a chance to connect with other early birds before the whirlwind of the meeting begins.

Tune in. Turn off your cell phone. Turn on your focus. Takes notes on how you can help others.

Your turn to speak – differentiate. Client stories are more memorable and compelling than a punch list of your services. Tell a recent client story that underscores what you do well.

“How you can help me” – See the “how you can help me” outline on our website. This should include key phrases to listen for, the specific niche and demographic of your best prospects, best referral sources for you, the best way to introduce you.

Be genuine. Don’t overstate your capabilities. Don’t overpromise next steps.

Be a connecter – Be the reference desk. Every connection has a ripple effect. Ripples lead to waves.

Keep your antenna up? Look for opportunities for others. Listen for “hot buttons” for your colleagues.

Recruit members to strengthen the group – Who could add more energy and introductions to the group? Who do you know that seems to be everywhere, knows everyone? Encourage them to check out the group.

One-on-One meetings – Try to meet with each member of the group to create a more personal link and to better understand their business. Prepare for this meeting. See if you can bring one introduction to the meeting. Make it a “Rolodex” meeting. Bring your smartphone, laptop or tablet with your personal database information – conversation may lead to an immediate introduction.

Follow up, follow through. Respond to introductions within 3 working days. Show a sense of urgency and sincere interest.

Keep in touch. Make sure all group members are on your E-newsletter list, Holiday list, business event/seminar list, etc.

Everyone gets caught up in the craziness of work, family and other commitments. Invariably, some things fall through the cracks. For many, that’s follow-up and follow through with regard to your networking efforts. If that sounds like you, here’s one piece of advice: today is a new day and it’s not too late to follow up.

As a rule, when you meet somebody at a networking function or conduct a one-on-one, it’s good form to follow up within three days. This may sound like a bit of a formality, but it really is another level of the networking process. Since your meeting, that person may have thought of somebody who might be a lead or referral source for you. A simple follow-up after your meeting keeps you front-of-mind.

Now, if this is something you have been negligent on in the past, guess what? You can be a better networker today by simply making a phone call or dropping an e-mail to those you did not follow up with. Most people understand that everybody is busy and that some things do slide, particularly during the summer. A belated follow-up might rekindle the networking and lead to new business.

The most important thing about networking is consistency. Attend a certain number of events per month. Conduct X number of one-on-ones per month with people you meet at events or those who are part of your networking group. Then follow up with those individuals within three days. Yet perhaps as important as doing all those things is NOT beating yourself up too badly if you don’t.

It may sound rather Pollyanna, pie-in-the-sky, but today is another day. You can spend that day being ticked off at yourself for not doing your follow-up or setting up one-on-ones or you can send out that follow up note and apologize for not doing so sooner. Better yet, give that person a call. The fact is you can be a better networker today by forgiving yourself for what you should have done and taking action today. Simple as that.

One the more important things you can do in developing a network is conduct one-on-one meetings. After all, what better way is there to get to know somebody and learn about their business than meet face-to-face? But what happens after the meeting? How confident are you that the person you just met with has a handle on what your business is all about and who your best prospects are? One way to ensure networking success is to have at least one article you can pass on to your network that they, in turn, can use to reference your business.

You might be saying, “we haven’t received any coverage in the press that really describes our company well enough”. Even if the press hasn’t covered your business, that doesn’t prohibit you from writing an article about what it is you do.

For example, if you’re a CPA, you could write an article on “The Top 10 Reasons Small Businesses Get Audited by the Government”. Or if you’re a web designer, you could write an article entitled, “The Top 10 Things to Look for in a Web Design Firm”.

You’re probably noticing a pattern with the “top 10” theme but that’s strictly to address the reason many entrepreneurs have for not having a prepared article that describes their company, “I can’t write”. Poppycock!

If writing is not your thing, that’s one thing. But you should be able to talk about the 10 best ways to work with a ___ or the 10 things you should look for in a ___. Even if you have to say it into a tape recorder first, you can communicate that. Then, it’s really a matter of finding somebody who can take that information and make it read well. And there are many resources to find freelance copywriters or firms that can do that.

Once the article is written, with your name and bio included as the byline, you’ll want to publish it somewhere to make it look official. There are hundreds of free article submission sites who are desperate for content from subject matter experts. Ezinearticles.com is one. It really then becomes a matter of submitting your article and waiting for it to be available online.

Once your article is online, you now have a tool to share with your network. You can print it out with the masthead from the publication to make it really look official. Or, you can forward the link so your network can e-mail it to potential prospects. The recommendation here is to print it out—keep it to one page if you can—and hand it to your network as you conduct one on one meetings.

One thing you’ll find about networking that it places a premium on your collateral marketing materials. How well those pieces describe what you do gives your network the ammunition to generate leads for you. So even if your company brochure or website aren’t up to snuff, a bylined article can give your network all it needs to trumpet your capabilities.

And that’s key to making your network work.

“It’s not what you know, but who you know.” How many times have you heard that in business and in the course of everyday life? Yet when it comes to networking, it’s who you don’t know that dictates your level of success.

What that means is many business owners attend networking meetings or functions with the intent of networking to find people with whom they can share leads, referrals and perhaps even do business. Yet how many times do you find yourself at a networking meeting talking most of the time to somebody you already know fairly well?

That’s not to downplay reconnecting with business owners you have a relationship with. Those kind of events can help that relationship evolve. Yet the primary goal of attending a networking event or meeting is also expanding your network. You can’t do that by only talking to people you already know.

So, when you’re attending a networking meeting or function, make a point to introduce yourself to visitors or people you have not met. If you are in the middle of a conversation with somebody who is part of your network, encourage them to walk over and introduce yourself to people neither of you know. A lot of times it will be easier to break the ice if two people approach a newcomer to a meeting or function rather than just one person.

As you approach new people at a networking , do so with a time limit in mind. Ask them about their business and who their customers are. Find out about where they’re from. Ask if they know people that you know from that same town. If there’s somebody there you think they should meet, find that person and invite them over to continue the conversation.

This is not to say that people who are new to a networking group should not be making that first step to mingle and get around. They absolutely should. But even if somebody’s networking skills aren’t up to where they could or should be, it doesn’t mean they might not be a great source of leads/referrals or business. So, make that little effort to break away from the people you know to meet business owners you don’t. You literally have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

We’ve all been on that date where the other party does nothing but talk about themselves, blah, blah, blah. On a date, you have to at least pretend to listen. As a good networker, you must always listen.

Why? Well, to be a good networker, you have to be willing to pass a lead or referral in order to get one. That requires you to be an engaged listener and actually register mentally or on paper what the other party wants or needs. If listening is not your strong suit, you can always get better by following a few simple guidelines:

• Turn your body toward the person – Facing and turning towards the people you are networking with conveys respect and interest and is a gesture that invites them in.
• Make eye contact – You want to look people in the eyes when they are speaking and avoid any tendency to look anywhere but at the person you are speaking to. Keeping eye contact makes you a better listener.
• Nod occasionally – This is part of being an engaged listener and lets the other person know that what they say is being heard. It doesn’t mean you agree or understand everything, but it does encourage the other person that you are there.
• Have a calm presence – Avoid fidgeting, rustling papers, twirling pens and so on. Not only does it make a less than favorable impression on the other person but it distracts you from listening for those key points that are critical to passing leads and referrals.
• Be curious and ask questions – If during the course of your one-on-one you hear something that piques your interest or you don’t understand, ask the question. This does a couple of things. It lets the other person know you are listening, but more importantly it makes the meeting more of a conversation. We always remember more from a two-way conversation rather than a one-way lecture.

Sure, there are many other things needed to be an effective networker, but it all starts with listening. Fortunately, it’s an easy skill to practice, especially if you are in a networking group like My Pinnacle Network. You can easily make each elevator pitch an opportunity to practice the above techniques by pretending each speaker is talking directly to you. You’d be amazed how that can translate to effective listening habits in a one-on-one meeting.