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That’s probably a question you have never been asked or even thought about. We are asking you now, specifically what do they do that makes them a great networker? Do you know? Have you ever asked them? Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it also provides a lit pathway to success if you are willing to follow.

So, here’s an exercise for you if you want to grow as a networker. Target one or two of the best networkers you know. Invite them to have a one-on-one. Then, instead of asking about their business, ask for one or two tips on how they go about networking.

If that feels a little awkward, drop them a note first to let them know what you’re interest in. Say something like:

“Dear ___,

I consider you to be one of the best networkers I know. Would you be willing to take a minute or two on the phone or maybe grab a cup of coffee to discuss your approach to networking? I’d really appreciate it…”

You would be surprised how responsive people will be to such requests. Why? Because good networkers know that the most critical component to networking is effort. If you’re putting forth the effort to seek their guidance to grow your network, it actually will help grow their network even more. And that’s when networking is a win for everybody.

That’s a question we have asked at several My Pinnacle Network meetings this month. The response from one of the attendees at My Pinnacle – Plymouth caught yours truly off-guard:

“The best referral I ever gave was you,” said John Adams, of Adams Communications. “I introduced you to Steve Dubin.” (Footnote – Steve and I have now worked together for over 10 years to build PR Works, a full-service public relations and advertising company.  Additionally, we launched My Pinnacle Network approximately one year ago and have expanded the network to 11 locations.  Yes, I’d have to say, that was a pretty good introduction.)

Technically, it was more of a cold lead and one other person (Stephanie Gray) had recommended Steve as well. Still, there’s no way either John or Stephanie could have known the career/life-altering impact this referral might bring. They did it because they were following the fundamentals of good networking:

1. Listen to what the other person does
2. Think of who you know in your contact sphere who might be a good match.
3. Provide contact info and follow-up.

Now, if you knew that every introduction/referral you made had the potential for a long-term working relationship and eventually a partnership, you’d go that extra mile every time you made an introduction, right? The point is, you never know where a simple introduction might lead. But if you do it as a practice, as John and Stephanie did/do, good things can happen.

Think about the referrals you have passed. What was the genesis of that referral? It involved your listening skills more than anything else.

First, you probably heard a friend, colleague or peer talk about his or her business what their needs. If you were truly listening, that registered in your memory on a certain level.

Next, in your travels, be it at your place of business, networking group, coffee shop, etc., you heard somebody express a need for a certain product or service. You interject and say, “I know somebody who might be able to help you…”. And that is how a lead/referral is born.

So, if you’re in a networking group and you’re wondering why you have not received a referral, perhaps you’re not asking the right question. Maybe you should be asking, why have I not passed a referral?

While clearly there are exceptions to this rule, but when it comes to referrals you have to give to receive. And the only way you can give is to know what people want or need. That, you can only do by listening.

There’s probably not one of us who paid attention to every single word every person has said at a networking meeting. We should, but we don’t. Fortunately, it’s an area where you can improve quite easily.

Make it a point to listen at your next networking meeting. Bring a notebook and be sure to write down at least one type of referral for each member as they give their elevator pitch. You would be surprised how much registers in your memory when you put it in writing. From there, all you really have to do is listen.